The quiet pressure of time passing without anything clearly marking it

I think that’s where the pressure comes in, because it’s not loud and it’s not panic, it’s just this low feeling in the background that time is passing whether I’m doing anything with it or not. Like it doesn’t care if I’ve figured things out yet, it’s just going, and I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be measuring against which somehow makes it worse. It’s not like I can point to something and say this is where I should be by now, but it still feels like there’s something I’m supposed to be keeping up with and I’m not even sure what that is.

It’s small stuff that makes me notice it. Thinking about someone I used to talk to all the time and realizing it’s been a really long time. Hearing a song and realizing I haven’t listened to it in years. Just having a moment where I’m like wait, when did that even happen. There’s no clear line between then and now, it just kind of shifts without asking, and I think that’s the part that feels weird because I know I’ve changed and I know things are different but I couldn’t tell you exactly when or how it happened. There’s no one moment to point to, it just… did, and I’m still here in it while it keeps moving.